In my previous blog post, where I had described intuition as the guiding force behind your actions. While I truly
believe what I have written, I couldn’t help but get more clarity ; Get more curious, because when the logical reasoning fails, there is no alternative than to keep on searching for answers.
I believed that we attract situations and people depending on what is going on inside us. But I refuse to adhere to the notion that everything that happens to us is a byproduct, that we have wished it upon us.
No. After reading James Clears posts repeatedly, I realised that while I may have brought on certain circumstances in my life, what happened thereafter was NOT in my control. You cannot decide or visualise how the other person will treat you. If they will be good, honest, loyal,understanding or disrespectful, fickle, self-favouring is not up to me. I didn’t ask anyone for this. I didn’t ask for all or any of the worse situations in my life. They just came, unannounced. So for all of you who will say that someone deserves to have this and this happened to them just because he or she acted bad, please think twice. No one in their right mind would say ‘ Oh god please shower me with adverse conditions, unhealthy people or miseries’. Things just happen, and probably all the more from people who you don’t expect it at all.
I know I have done somethings in the past which cannot be really said as of good behaviour. I rebelled against a lot of things, fought for fairness and did some crazy stuff. I am glad I grew out of that phase, and now I understand that not all things go your way, but you this doesn’t mean you should give up your voice and be submissive to what you feel is wrong.
The biggest example of not getting closure is my family. They have gone through so much, right from my grandparents to parents, they are the real live example of people not getting closure for a lot of things. Of not controlling the situational outcomes, of being subject to repercussions of other people’s horrible behaviours.
But they accepted it. Their lives went on. They raised us well. That’s factual enough for me to go on.
Nature doesn’t provide closure. A lot of times. What do you do then? Who will you shout and blame and reason and rant with?
Maybe this way ill never get all my answers. Does anyone? Unless,maybe you are deep into spirituality and meditation and live in the Himalayas.
The more I use logic and reason, the more useless and strange life gets and my logic sounds. The more I use the mantra of believing in a higher power, my mind races to logic and reason. It’s a never-ending circle!
For now, ill just look forward to forgiving myself. For everything that was my fault and wasn’t my fault. With knowing that I CAN get myself out. Each and every time 🙂