I’ve been pondering and sitting over this for quite a few months. For those who know me, I can be quite direct and vocal about my thoughts which prove offensive to someone. Ive got one word for you : I dont care.
This topic is something I wished to talk about because If I dont let out the anger, it will drive me mad.
The one thing which drived me mad is women not respecting other women. In the past it did, even now it does. Put precisely, do whatever they can to bring them down. Unfortunately this still happens to the best of us, and sometimes unknowingly from the person we least expect it.
There have been some incidences which have me being subject to such defamations, allegations, derogatory comments, that at the end I really don’t know wether I should laugh at the lack of sense or just ignore it. I have been made fun of several things, I have been criticised a lot. I’ve been bullied about the way I looked, my hair, my teeth, my education etc etc. Ive been criticised for the clothes I wear, looked down upon because I probably don’t earn a ‘decent’ salary and also because I don’t have a masters degree. You get the point…right!?
There exists a snobbish class of society who impose their ideals and views on others just because the other person doesn’t fit their fucking description.
I used to feel very conscious of all the above, and for sometime it got me thinking that is there really something wrong with me? I mean, what the actual fuck !? Its hillarious.
Fortunately I am blessesd with a few good people around me who don’t give a damn to what others think. And that’s what I DID, and YOU should too. Listen ladies. I am not lying when I say I have been accused of nasty things from people who are HIGHLY educated, who you would consider respectable in the society. But once they stooped to their level, thats when it hit me. People are NOT their education OR their JOB or their SALARY. And you know why I say this? The very people who CLAIM to be open and progressive are the very ones who live in godforsaken half a century behind. They arent in tune with today’s world. They think they can harass and torture us mentally and say some really backward stuff and we should be OKAY with it. Like really!? Which fucking centuary you are living in again!?
Its disgusting,appaling and angering. No one, I repeat no one has the right to disrespect you or your family. They might be more educated than you, more rich than you but by displaying such cheap and low behaviour, they themselves show what ‘third class’ mentality they carry. And you don’t have to take their shit. Because its demeaning, negative, toxic and doesnt align with your values and upbringing.
I am someone with a very high sense of self respect, and I don’t give a rats ass about people who have treated me badly. Yes, it has been my fault too that I allowed them at that point, but that’s where I had to STAND UP for my self respect. I dont really give a damn who you are if you don’t treat me nicely or atleast humanely.
One thing I learnt from all these experiences is always, always have standards. Stick to them. I dont mean have exceptionally high standards where you might end up in the same boat as them, but in certain areas you NEED to put your foot down.
You are not some ‘abla nari’ to listen to people’s bullshit. I have gone through the process of breaking down and doubting myself. But everytime I did that, the people who loved me, who know me for who I am, reminded me of myself. That I am NOT what others say I am. It helped. Certainty a lot. I am not even one bit ashamed to admit all this on a social platform because I know there are many who do face daily degradation from their family, colleagues, in laws, the society etc. If you know you are right, you shouldn’t take other people’s words to heart.
You don’t have to face harassment from your seniors at the workplace.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone except to yourself that you are fine the way you are.
If anyone tries to impose decisions on you,leave. Leave that relationship,leave that job. Leave their dimwitted self to themselves.
I had to stand up for myself. If you do, your family does. Your friends do. If you don’t, no one else will. There is a limit to where you can tolerate other’s crap. After a certain point only YOU can decide if the job or the relationship or the friendship is worth it.
Compromises, adjustments are inevitable, from marriage to job to anything and everything. As women, as mothers as sisters and friends we must support each other, give a chance for others to lean on us, say hey girl! I got your back. But If it isnt helping you become the better version of yourself, pack your bags and run..run straight out of the door.