Weird no !?
We all looooove to hear about our strengths. They uplift us in times of need, when we are feeling low and down and outright depressed. When someone consoles you, they say – ” Hey! forget all that. You know you are soooo helpful. You have been there for me. ” etc etc.
The point is we all have some unique qualities which are our strengths, or the points which make us who we are. If you do a Wikipedia search, Strength is majorly defined as having qualities which make us strong, which are our ways to deal with the world and ourselves.
Then why this post, you may ask ?
Because our very strengths become our weakness. You come across certain situations in your life,or probably in your everyday dealings, knowingly or unknowingly we exert our best side and still it all falls apart.
For example, during a training session, we all were asked to describe each other’s strengths. Someone described me as helpful, eager to learn, optimistic, adaptable, make others comfortable and does not give
a fuck up. Yeah and how a high it gave me ! 😛
I looked back at all the phases in my life where I diligently stuck to my strengths. I though I would be looking at all the happy phases but surprisingly even when I acted upon each and every one of them,things fell apart.
I am helpful – But I became too helpful. I forget to take care of myself. I overlooked this and brought on this disappointment.
I am eager to learn – Yes I am like that, I am always short of patience and very much eager to learn about new things. Of my interest of course. But this eagerness can prove to be consuming as again I lost track of how fast I was going.
I am optimistic – Well, I am analytical most of the times. My parents feel I am an emotionless dork 😛 There have been cases or situations where I have become too analytical and based on that too optimistic. I leave no room for emotion. I do not think emotionally, but I take action on facts and following the logical path. I am indecisive ( This is a weakness ) But I am not spontaneous. I don’t or can’t get up one day and say hey! let’s go for a solo trip. No boss. Or If I see a wonderful opportunity somewhere for a job or a thing I have been dreaming about, It would take a lot of time for me to really go out and take that step. I might analyse a hundred things, possibilities and failures. I would never act on that.
For others It MIGHT look impulsive, I have been called that too, but they fail to understand that I have probably thought over till death and then made the decision.
I am adaptable – Yes I am. I can sleep anywhere from a tent to a five-star poster bed and not crib about it. I can eat poli and milk for breakfast every day straight and not crib. It’s another story that I CRAVE variety, but you would not find me demanding. This becomes a problem and you see how !? Because I go along with whatever is. I try to adapt myself instead of demanding what is rightful. I could do that. I need to do that.
Making others comfortable – I have mixed up all of my friends. All of my friends know each other and when they meet, I make sure, I try to remove the awkwardness between. Or when I sense someone is shy or uncomfortable I cannot usually bear to see it and I try to make that person feel comfortable. All this proves counterproductive to me only because like point number 1, I somehow ignore my needs and focus on the other person too much.
I go all in – This can be possibly my best and worst strength. My parents, my friends always complain that I get too engrossed in one thing. And obviously I wouldn’t be all in if it wasn’t something that I liked. Even if I am in the office or travelling, I kind of forget everything else. My friends complain that I have disappeared, and I avoid them and what not. Please it’s not like that.
When I am travelling with my friends, I forget my work and even my family 😛 Then my family complains that have I forgot I have a home, and not bloody living like a hippie!
Too much no ? Even now when I am writing this, I forget everything else. Just focus here. And this HAS caused me problems. I have focused only and only on one thing, while probably ignoring all the glaring signs which danced naked in front of me and yet I got myself engrossed.
I don’t give up – I can go on and on about this. All ill say that I make myself msierable. Even if its a pathetic job, relation, friendship, I keep on believing that somehow it will work. Somehow this is right for me. Somehow things will fall in to place. But I NEED to realize that how much ever I try, If it is not right for me, It would not happen. Its best to SEE what is the reality and step down gracefully.
If your biggest strength is being organised, take a step back and see how it affects your other half, who might literally be going nuts over this.
If your biggest strength is being compassionate and have a sacrificing nature, then you will ignore your own needs. You think about your family and sacrifice, but somewhere you do repent about not striking balance or doing something for yourself which would allow you time with the family but you will also be independent and have a course of your own.
So the point is, we all must find that balance between our strengths and weakness. We must step back, take feedback , spend time on our own to understand how to create that balance.
It will not only help you to take sound decisions, but it will make you aware of what quality you can put where and when the time comes how you can step back on the strength itself and think the other way round…