You might feel, that new beginnings are easy for someone impulsive and passionate ( More like, wavering and unstable ) person like me.

Certainly not. In fact its the hardest thing for a passionate emotional impulsive to do. There are a 100 different things out there that I really feel, the emotion welling up inside to experience it, to immerse myself in it, to drown in it and make it my religion. Pun intended !

But its not so easy. Its challenging, difficult and perplexing to those around me. For someone like me, its not about finding a job or a field and sticking to it, but more so the fear of not growing at the rate I want myself to grow, alongside the fear of getting into a roadblock and not possessing the talent or the means to grow out of it. I know,too much blabber no? 🙈

Imagine a situation, where I am working in a bakery. I know basic cakes and stuff, and that satisfies me and the customers, but also after a while I feel the innate need to explore more baking techniques if I have to progress. And if someone capable or superior to me is not available to guide me through it, I feel dejected, uninterested and a failure.

One, I loose out on all the interest and passion due to this one roadblock, and two, I think that maybe if I cannot get ahead, I am not cut out for it. It is really a struggle to find a profession where you feel that emotion, that optimism or willingness to do work, and also it should meet the high professional development my mind demands. Because if not, then I stand at the risk of doubts, confusion, low performance and lost interest.

I’ve done various jobs for various reasons, each one offering happiness, fun, really enjoyable and interesting company but also some had strong themes of working with minimum motivation, commitment-diya-toh-slog-now, and constantly motivating and pushing myself to see that one more day through.

In all, over the years, there’s a theme I’ve noticed about myself. I am kind-of drawn to fields and companies ( Not professions ) who have people focusing on achievements, and who also support their own and other’s growth. Training, mentoring, weeding out the negative in oneself and working on improving the weakness…isn’t all this very essential for growth ?

It is a difficult thing to see someone else grow and not get similar opportunities or not get to do it due to some or other reason 😡

That’s probably why I consciously end up grabbing every opp that comes.

I find people who believe in visions which are perhaps ludicrous to others very fascinating. And they going and actually doing something about it. That constitutes one of their many achievements…and makes me wonder what is stopping me from taking that one step towards achieving something more ? I think its mostly to do with fear, lack of confidence and related emotions. Working on it though. . .

A perpetual stickler for achievements. Probably. Does it feel too much to ask for ? 😛

Published by shrutimirasdar

I see the world with only half the eyes, the other half, I keep to myself.

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